this is fucked up bullshit. she fucking left me with all the god damn work. she took the easy way out of her orblems. i could have just as easily done the same many times but choose not to because it was cowardly and not fair to her or the kids. but does she give a fuck about me no. oibviouslyh since she couldnt even be honest to me that should be obvious, but hey i am the fucking stupid one who couldnt see what eveeryone else was able to. no one wanted me to be with her they all told me all the time. i didnt care i said they were wrong they didnt know her but obviously it was me who didnt know her. how fucking dumb am i. i cant hear/see/smell what was in front of me all along. i always gave her the benefit and said i must be crazy. i never persued anything or pushed the matter because i guess i was too in love. i dont even know what the fuck love is anymore. was it all in my head. did she ever actually love me or did i imagine that too. was i just some way out for her. an easy mark to squeeze for childcare, money & an easy fuck when she couldnt gbet anyone she really liked. i dont even know why i care because they longer she is gone the less i even want her to still be around. everytime i see that god damn urn i wanna throw it away. i just wanna take all the fucking money that is left and disappear. leave the kids with whoever will take them since they arent mine anyways she claimed, of course she couldnt ever tell me that. she could have told me at anytime she told everyone else but me.
why could it not be me who died. i wish i was dead that she could be going through this shit. just fucking kill me already. i want to die. fucking time machines need to exist already.
now i am obviusly too dumb to klnow my own kids. i dont understand them. i am sorry i wasnt as active i worked a 40+ hour week for most of their lives so i could take care of her. i spent as much time as i could watching them on my 3 days off i took them everywhere did what they wanted to do and let them be kids. apparently though i am too dumb to know anything about them. coeligh is afraid of bein alone: wouldnt know she never is alone, around me or other kids at all time... never seen her alone. akiera only puts her fingers in her mouth when she is anxious: again wouldnt know i dont catch her doing it i only hear about it after the fact. yup that's me... too dumb to be a parent... dont know anything about "my" kids.
about me
my name is todd if you have stumbled upon this website by pure chance please get out now & save yourself, otherwise it must be too late for you. i am now 25 (started this @ 18) live in vegas (no i don't have a permanent residence in any specific casino).
i love
akiera, coleigh & leif (the kids) of course goes top priority on this list, umm that is all for now.
i hate
stupid drivers & people who try to rule others life by how they act or feel about others, personally people who try to tell me whats best for myself. most of all i have unfaithful people who can't just fess up to their lies.